happy place

Exploring Values and Combating Stereotype Threat
Thursday, April 30th, 2015

I believe that studying abroad was a huge part of my growth as a person during college, and I would absolutely suggest it to anyone. It was also one of the happiest times of my life. Saying that a time in one's life was very "happy" seems to suggest that their current life is "unhappy." That's not the case, however. It's healthy to examine what times in our lives are remembered most fondly, and to see if we can adjust certain things to improve our lives now.

My time abroad was spent in Spain. I stayed with a family, and took classes with other American students. While I had class every day, my time there still presented a great deal of freedom. After high school, going to college presented a great deal of freedom on its own, but leaving the country added another level of excitement.

Looking at the list of values presented in our blog prompt this week suggests some factors that may have contributed to the thrill. I formed a great deal of CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS. I DEVELOPED AS A PERSON. I had a ton of AUTONOMY in a great LOCATION, where I had FREE TIME for INTROSPECTION as well as ADVENTURE. HAVING A FAMILY setting was awesome, where I had some TRANQUILITY, but it was a great experience to meet people, and maybe even find some ROMANCE too.

So how does my life compare now? Let's examine it questionnaire-style: Do I try to live up to these values?

Disagree 1 ----- 2 ----- 3 ----- 4 ----- 5 Agree

(3) Close Friendships
(5) Develop as a Person
(5) Autonomy
(5) Location
(3) Free Time
(5) Introspection
(2) Adventure
(~) Having a Family
(4) Tranquility

When I step back and consider these words as a list of values, a huge part of me is baffled. But I will do my best. While I've been studying such new material at DBC, it's been harder to maintain close friendships. I still try my best to develop as a person, but I do find less time to relax. That said, I live in a great location, and I try really hard to have a family.

One of the most important values to me from the list is introspection. I like this quote from Arthur M. Schlesinger, who said:

Everything that matters in our intellectual and moral life begins with an individual confronting his own mind and conscience in a room by himself.

I think he makes a great point. When we're young, we spend a huge part of our lives just exploring and learning to be humans. As we grow, if we want to pursue some level of self-actualization, we require a great deal of time for introspection. We have to step back and consider our own lives, to think about our goals, our life's purpose, and how we treat others. For many people, being "alone with their thoughts" can be scary. But if we practice making this a constructive time, we can grow in amazing ways.

On a completely different note, the last time someone asked me for advice was when a friend was considering his next step in his career. He has found a field that he loves, but over the past few years he has found his motivation lacking. He wants to find something that inspires him. I think people at my age sometimes withdraw when they are going through a period of introspection, and I told him that I understood. Finding something that you're passionate about can be a difficult undertaking, and I told him I would be happy to listen, or to do anything else I could to aid in his search.

Separately, when I think about "stereotype threat," I think about the unfair nature of the issue. People should only be judged based on who they are as a person, not by the group they come from. While the values may not have been included on my list, I hope to help people that are dealing with stereotype threat to develop a strong sense of self-respect, despite any pressures that they may feel, and to find a place that provides stability. That may mean a physical location to withdraw to, or perhaps a supportive group of people that has their best interests in mind. Hopefully that also provides a sense of peace, that they can see that by surrounding themselves be good people, they can be secure in their knowledge of who they are, and find the same opportunities to grow as everyone else. I hope to do my own part to create a supportive environment at DBC, and in my community in general.