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Thoughts on Peer Pairing and Feedback
Wednesday, April 15th, 2015

When DBC’s Phase 0 was starting, we were quickly exposed to the concept of peer pairing in programming. Most everything that I read - and this article in particular - suggested that it leads to great developers and great code. It can be slow-going at times, and tough to adjust to, but the benefits are many. So when I realized we’d be doing a lot of it every week, I was excited.

Five weeks later… I love pairing. It’s great to work with others to solve challenges. I’ve realized that even if I go into a session thinking that I know the best way to do something, I can learn so much more by coming with no strong opinions on how to approach the problem. Inevitably, something will be done in a way that I hadn’t considered, and I will have learned something. It has been incredibly rewarding. Even if I don’t learn a totally new concept, I always learn some little trick that makes my own work easier. And it’s also nice to have someone to laugh with over mistakes, and grumble with when something is particularly tedious. Few parts of pairing have been difficult.

That said, we do a lot of feedback. Reading that feedback can be unnerving, and it’s tough when you’re anticipating its arrival. I have to admit, I was nervous when perusing the first few selections. I don’t want to hear bad feedback any more than anyone else. But I think if you have a good understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses, constructive feedback can always be seen as something that’s helpful.

And so far, it’s been pretty good. But the process doesn’t come without struggles. I have a very hard time being impolite, even a little. I try to be very aware of others’ feelings. So when pairing, I pay special attention to the opinions of my partner, and I try not to make decisions without first getting their approval. As I expected, this has shown up in my feedback. People say that I know what I’m doing, so I should just be confident and “take the reins.” This is a struggle for me. In college, when my grades depended on my work, I was hard on partners in group settings, and I re-did a lot of their work on my own. And I felt bad about that.

Now that I’m more aware of my actions, I want to try to make decisions and changes a little more tactfully. But I err on the side of caution probably a little too much, especially in Phase 0, when there’s no grade or evaluation on the line. I just want us both to learn. But as I move forward, I do need to be aware of this. Once I start making projects that matter, I’ll need to stand up and say “No, that won’t work,” and not waste time coming to a democratic decision on every little thing.

It can also be tough to give feedback. We are supposed to include something “constructive” (negative), but that’s hard to do. Usually, there really aren’t any glaring issues, and even if there are, it’s tough to be hard on someone, when the new material seems like enough to deal with.

The whole topic of feedback reminds me of a video of Linus Torvalds - the creator of Linux and git - speaking to a group of students at a University. The topic of Torvalds’s “rough” demeanor came up. He admits to giving blunt feedback, and he says there’s a reason:

I believe that when you work with a lot of people, it's better to be really open about your feelings, so that you don't have people that by mistake misread you.

He goes on to describe a fitting anecdote, when he was initially supportive of someone when they were building a project that he knew he didn’t like. He didn’t want to tell them it wasn’t good enough, but eventually he had to tell them anyway, and then their time had been wasted. Because of situations like that, he believes that it’s best to be open and honest right away.

It’s a fine line to balance. It’s hard to put your stamp of approval on something you aren’t 100% supportive of, to work in ways that you aren’t used to, and to give feedback on someone else’s work. But these are all skills that are invaluable. I’m glad we’re getting opportunities to practice this now, and I’m glad the industry is moving toward pairing in general. I believe the opportunities for joint growth are limitless, and I’m excited to do more.